The military wife exists in a world where she is called a dependent. She is expected to do as her husband is told and to never question, complain, or allow a weary sigh to escape her lips. At the same time, she is also expected to be independent of her husband, not need his companionship or partnership for many days, weeks, months at a time, and be able to efficiently navigate the military bureaucracy's maze of paperwork on her own. All of this without boot camp or formal training of any kind.
Not everyone can successfully carry the weight inherent with the job of the military wife but those who do are impressive to behold.
Today I saw one of these women - a young spouse - pushing a luggage cart into
the lobby of the Kanto Lodge. Stacked on the cart were two full-sized suitcases
and, perfectly perched atop those, an infant's car seat. On the girl's hip, in
the crook of her left arm, was the baby - probably all of six months old.
The young mother's curly blond hair was neatly ponytailed and out of the way.
She was dressed comfortably in t-shirt, cargo pants, and sturdy Timberlands. A
small backpack hung loosely off one shoulder. She smoothly guided the luggage
cart and cargo into the hotel's commons area and stopped.
In an effortless series of moves, her right hand came off the cart, shifted the
baby to a more stable position on her hip, reached backward to slide into the
last strap of the backpack, and once more took control of the cart. All the
while, her eyes never once left the flight schedules displayed on the plasma
screen mounted near the front desk. She was taking a trip somewhere, traveling
"Space-A", baby on hip, and looking absolutely fearless. There was
nothing about her that would indicate she might be "dependent" in any
way.
As I admired her calm, it occurred to me that she and her baby were perhaps
minutes away from climbing into the jump seat of a C-17, or a KC-135, flying
away from Japan, over the Pacific Ocean, to one of the places listed on that
screen - Singapore, Hickam, Travis - yet she was as cool as if she were
simply traveling from her living room to her kitchen.
I couldn't help but think of Ginger Rogers, of whom it is said did everything
Fred Astaire did, only backward...and in high heels.*
And I realized how perfectly that old
saying describes the military wife.
I didn't say anything to the girl. I left her to finish planning her trip,
vacation, or PCS, by herself. She was
"dancing" like a pro and the last thing I wanted to do was break her
concentration.
~ jewls
* Quote attributed to Bob Thaves' 1982 "Frank & Ernest" comic
strip. The link is here: backward...and in high heels
Posted by jennyspouse.com at 6:17
AM
Labels: Backwards and in High Heels, Bob Thaves, comic strip, Frank and Ernest, Ginger Rogers, Hickam AFB, Japan, Kanto Lodge, life as a military wife, military spouse, Space-A travel, Travis AFB
CraftyLzrd said...
My fellow military spouses never cease to amaze me! :)
April 7, 2008, at 10:45 AM
Anonymous said...
Military Wives Rule!!!! hehe =) I love the
"backward and in high heels" and I COMPLETELY agree with that!
April 7, 2008, at 10:34 PM
Anonymous said...
A beautiful blog post! Military spouses are definitely
"high functioning" individuals and, in my experience, the last ones
to recognize how efficient and strong they are.
April 8, 2008 at 8:58 AM
UncleSamWife said...
I held my tongue until the Navy told us for the 7th
time (not even kidding!) that our BAH would be in the next paycheck...they were
wrong, and they were up to 3grand in owing us...And I swore that my husband
better get out of my way, because someone would be cleaning the flight deck with
a toothbrush very soon :)
Hell hath no fury than screwing with a new military spouses' dependency on BAH.
April 8, 2008, at 5:21 PM
Anonymous said...
i love this!!! absolutely love it! thank you so much
for everything that you do, your article is my weekly breath of fresh air!!
-- Anna Clark, navy wife
April 11, 2008, at 9:42 AM
Anonymous said...
Julie, As is often true, we are in the same mind, but
you are a month ahead of me!
I'm about to use the "high heels" quote in a column, googled it to
check out the attribution, and came up with your blog!
This is a wonderful description ... a great post.
See ya in the funny pages, Stripes Sister!
Love,
Terri
May 6, 2008, at 6:47 AM
Nicole said...
I just PCSed with 2-year-old twins and a 3-year-old.
While my husband was sitting at the base in Germany doing the post-deployment
paperwork. We flew on for over 24 hours and changed planes three times. By the
time we got here, we were exhausted.
Military wives are a different breed.
October 28, 2009, at 11:54 AM
Lovell said...
I am so happy I read this....just want I needed to keep
myself going
October 20, 2010, at 2:42 PM
